A Day With FSU Lesbian: How I'm Two Degrees of Separation from Jimmy Carter

A Day with FSU Lesbian: How I’m Now Two Degrees of Separation from Jimmy Carter

Gimmick accounts, we all love them, some of us hate them too probably, those “some of us” don’t know how to have fun but alas. 

One of the most prominent gimmick accounts, at least within my social circle, is the brilliant/wonderful/glowing FSU Lesbian. But FSU Lesbian, not The FSU Lesbian but simply A FSU Lesbian, is much more than just a gimmick account runner that makes their posts while hurricane shopping in a Publix.

FSU Lesbian, known by Florida State University and the United States Government as REDACTED LOL. . , is more than just someone who gets scared walking into a coffee shop because they can recognize people that follow their gimmick account almost everywhere they go (especially in the ASLC- personal promo) but they are also just an average lesbian, who fears the interconnected web of Tallahassee’s lesbian and queer woman population. But if they fear the web*, why make the account to begin with? 

Sadly, it seems that FSU Lesbian’s goal of the account- to collect the lesbians in their major because “no lesbians existed” backfired because with the ever-growing interconnectivity of the Tallahassee lesbian population in such a way that someone should make and submit a chart of all the lesbians in Tallahassee and how they’re all connected  (yes like in the L-Word), it becomes clear that “there’s opps everywhere.” The opps in this scenario of course are the lesbians that specifically follow FSU Lesbian, and good golly is there a lot of yous. 

While sharing a lovely afternoon with FSU Lesbian, I learned a lot about this particular lesbian. 

From how she was doing on this one specific afternoon, to what she considers the best movies and songs, and of course, what she considers to be her biggest failure in life. 

It is my honor to share these findings with you all and let all Lesbian readers know that their representation is in good hands. 

The Official FSU Lesbian Best Movies:

1.   REDACTED

2.    Bottoms

3.    Love Lies Bleeding

4.    But I’m a Cheerleader

5.    Radio Rebel

The Offical FSU Lesbian Best Artists: 

1.    Chappell Roan 

2.    The Last Dinner Party 

3.    Phoebe Bridgers

4.    Dolly Parton

5.    Shania Twain 

The FSU Lesbian Official Kin List: 

1.    Redacted

2.    Marcel the Shell 

3.    Martha Speaks

4.    Elf on the Shelf

5.    NOT Clifford the Big Red Dog*

The FSU Lesbian’s Official Biggest Personal Flaw

“My biggest fault is that I don’t play Pokemon Go every day.” 

How was FSU Lesbian feeling on this particular November Afternoon?

“Doing good. Apple cider, weather’s nice, I held a cat today, feeling good.” 

* I think of Madame Web (2023) every time I type this word. 

* “I am not big nor red”

Writer: The Kombucha Drinker of the ASLC

Artist: N/A This is the lesbian flag