I Saw the TV Glow: Pop Culture and the Queer Expereince
“This isn’t how life is supposed to feel”. I Saw the TV Glow has received multiple reviews from those who thought it was “an odd little movie” to “a film with a voice so distinctly it's own”. There could be many reasons why this film didn't resonate with some audiences, with at its core being a transgender allegory and a connection to those who took refuge in shows to escape reality.
Courage the Cowardly Dog, Spy Kids, and others are some types of shows that are similar to The Pink Opaque shown in the film; weird shows that parents coming into the room while the TV is on wouldn’t understand or even ask for the channel to be changed. Many have used these shows to escape what was happening in their life, and are remembered more fondly than if they were watched at this age. Daydreaming of being inside the show and creating adventures with those beloved characters may have been some fun memories of childhood. Growing fondly of these characters, imagining being them in their world, or simply enjoying what the TV puts out, everyone eventually grows up. In this process, people are told to abandon these “childlish little shows” and be “more mature”. What they mean is to enjoy more acceptable shows or just concentrate on other boring tasks such as taxes or work. This is similar to how queer identities are told to be “just a phase”, “grow out of it” or simply be a more sanitized version of yourself to society.
The professional or job spaces one needs to navigate as an adult can be intimidating if you already feel “different”. So that is the reason many of us mask ourselves behind our sanitized version, one that does not know every fact of an obscure show and is not queer. Lying about our pronouns, deciding not to transition due to how others may perceive us, and talking about what others find interesting. But, the glowing version of ourselves is still inside, calling to be released. Some do release it from time to time, as certain group spaces are welcoming to them; but those who still unknowingly mask themselves still need to embark on discovering themselves. Or, they may be aware but decide to conceal it to feel safe and unjudged.
Knowing who you are from a young age can be both intimidating and freeing. Queer kids can experiment and find representation in the media, but their comfort in life not only comes from parents being accepting but how their society views them. Currently, here in Florida, teachers can’t share LGBT books in their classrooms and colleges have removed classes discussing the LGBT experience. The laws on transgender youth and adults continue to make it harder for those wanting inclusive care. Kids are thought to be clueless, but they can discern how the world feels about them based on what they can do or hear. And once they grow up, they may have learned hiding who they are from the public is a better option. But, one thing they cannot restrict is access to TV shows. They don’t need to have queer representation that is visible, but through the imagination and connection that fans have, it is possible. Imagination can never be censored.
It may feel like you need to decide on how to present yourself to the world and still feel lost. For those worries it is important to remember, as the movie makes clear, “There is still time.”
Writer: Ale Mejia
Artist: Rose K.
